The Writing on the Wall

What is the fascination with writing on bathroom walls? Is there something about urinating that triggers a thought in the brain, "I must write something profound on the wall." I say "profound" in a very sarcastic manner. But if you ever need to find a good time, I am sure you can find a phone number to call in a bathroom stall.

Then I think to myself...... Why do I always read this garbage on the wall?

I Saw the Sign

I was driving to work this morning, spacing out as always and then I saw the sign. I will certainly think twice the next time I try and get away with something, because God is always watching me. (Thanks, Eric)

The Office Christmas Party

Every year around this time, offices around the country begin to have their holiday Christmas parties. The parties give us a chance to let our hair down and have a few drinks with our co-workers. Of course this year my office is doing nothing. PLUS.... We don't get a bonus. So whoever said County Government employees have it easy... Think twice.

But thanks to my wife this year and her work I get a free steak and lobster dinner, PLUS.....Free Drinks and she gets a bonus! YES!.

So for all of you attending office parties this year, here are the Top Ten Signs You're at a Bad Office Christmas Party (according to David Letterman)

10. Eggnog smells suspiciously like Liquid Paper.
9. Anyone caught under mistletoe gets choked by Latrell Sprewell.
8. Because of "corporate downsizing," Santa is only 120 pounds.
7. Only food available is something called "reindeer kebabs."
6. Last time you saw this much sucking up was on the Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson videotape.
5. Christmas tree is just a fat intern in a green sweater.
4. For the 16th year in a row, the Canadian band leader has passed out in the eggnog.
3. Thanks to the alcohol-free punch, not a single butt gets photocopied.
2. Boss offers to give you a raise, and he's not talking about money.
1. It's held every year on July 23rd.

Kentucky Fried Chicken

There has been something that has been bugging me lately. Why does Kentucky Fried Chicken have the thinnest napkin imaginable. I mean their chicken has to be one of the top five greasiest foods in the world. So, you would think that they would provide a nice thick, soft napkin to soak up the grease off my hands and face. Is the Colonel that cheap or what?
I was at my local KFC last week and I held up my napkin to the light and I could see right through it. Wow.....That's quality. I went through 6 napkins just to keep the grease off my fingers. This is fine when you are inside the KFC eating, but forget eating it in your car. You will definately be wiping your hands on your socks to dry that grease up!

Oh yeah, by the way..... Here is an old KFC joke from my childhood (a little gross). Why doesn't KFC keep toilet paper in their bathrooms? Because it's finger licking good.

Mental Mirror

Sometimes I can look in the mirror and think that I am the hottest guy on the planet. Other times I can’t stand the look of my ugly, Shrek like face. It is amazing how our mood and self-esteem can change the way we think about ourselves. Have you ever heard the expression “mind over matter”? This is so true of our lives as humans.
With the recent craze of plastic surgery in our society, it makes me wonder what I would change about myself. Other than the obvious, butt implants, I think I like the cards that I was dealt in the looks department. Would you change anything about yourself? Would it take the scalpel of a doctor or can a change in the way you think about yourself do the trick? My thoughts…..Positive thinking is free.

Friday's - Did you know?

Here is a Friday dose of Did you know?

-TIP is the acronym for "To Insure Promptness.
-On average, you breathe 23,000 times a day.
-A person can live without food for about a month, but only about a week without water.
-Men loose about 40 hairs a day. Women loose about 70 hairs a day.
-About 27% of food in developed countries are wasted each year. It's simply thrown away

The Moving Stairs

Sometimes right before I get on an escalator I get a little nervous. I am always paranoid that my footing will be off and I will fall flat on my face. In my 28 years on this Earth has it happened? No. Which only means the odds are against me.

Why do they need that emergency stop button? I remember being told of horror stories when I was little about somebody's clothes getting caught in the moving stairs and them being sucked under and killed. That can't be true...Can it? Take a look at his article.

So maybe my paranoia is a good thing. One thing I know for certain.... I will always tie my shoe laces before getting on an escalator!

The Colgate Curse

If you are like me, you brush your teeth two times a day or maybe even more. The "Colgate Curse" applies to the morning brush. This is the brush before you are exposed to the world, and nobody wants to introduce Mr. Morningbreath to everyone. Keep in mind, this may only happen to me, so I need your feedback......
So there I am, finishing up brushing, spitting out that last mouthful of water and then wiping off my face of any excess toothpaste. I look in the mirror and I think to myself, "There is one good-looking guy, with some minty fresh breath to say the least". But, I have made a fatal error... I have forgotten about......"THE COLGATE CURSE". It usually doesn't hit you until an hour later. You are sitting at work and notice a white paste on your pants.

What is that? That has to be toothpaste. Right?! What was I doing last in these pants? Hmmm.. Then you try to take some water and rub out the white stain.... IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE. Now the stain has spread out even more. What will others think? AHHHHH, "The Colgate Curse" has gotten me again!

Did I make you look at your pants for that white stain?

Long Lost Twin

I was signing into my Paypal account today and this credit card ad popped up. It was like looking in a mirror! I think I have found my long lost twin. Of course my wife saw the picture and thought I was crazy. What do you think?

In other news, I finally found Brogan's Irish Cream. Let me explain... Four years ago I went on a Cruise and instead the usual Baileys Irish Creme... they had Brogan's Irish Cream. Which of course I want a few bottles because of the Brogan name. So I was surfing the net last week and I finally found an online store out of New York that sells this Irish treat! You should order some, it makes a great night cap with coffee. Click Here to order your bottle today.

A Great Week!

This past week was my wedding and honeymoon. The wedding went smoothly and I was able to showcase a few of my dancing skills. For the honeymoon we went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. What a relaxing time. Here are a few pics of the wedding day and honeymoon. Two more days of vacation, then I am back to reality.

The weather was a perfect 90 degrees and sunny all week!
This was the view from our room. It was a pretty nice place. The name of the place was the RIU Palace and it is an all inclusive resort. Which means all the food and booze are taken care of. I had enough Corona to last me for a couple of years! :)

Some Bling for your Belly

Much like champagne, Goldschlager has a reputation as a celebration drink. It is touted by style consultants for its ability to increase one's inner bling. Goldschlager actually has little flakes of gold floating around in it. For those of you who don’t know, Goldschlager is hard liquor that has a cinnamon taste.
So one night my friend and I were drinking some Goldschlager with some Bailey’s Irish Crème (Oatmeal Cookie). After a few drinks I noticed that both full bottles were gone. This is when things started to get interesting. My friend began to feel sick to her stomach. She stumbled and fell to the ground. She then proceeded to vomit all over the wall. By this time I was feeling a little gross myself and went to bed. The next morning I woke up and noticed that something shiny was on the wall. The gold flakes had stayed stuck on the wall where the vomit was. Wow. I now had a gold wall. It just goes to show, drinking does pay off sometimes!

A Must for Downloading

This is a great new tool for your computer that I just found out about. It is a free version of Office that is pretty much identical to Microsoft's version. You can open up any excel or word file in the Staroffice version. I have played around with it awhile and like it alot! So save yourself some money and stick it to Microsoft. Lord knows they have enough money! www.openoffice.org

Cat Safari

Second Edition

A new second edition of The Brogan Book has been released. A few new things have been added to enhance the first release and make it even better (hard to believe). It's the same as a DVD coming out with a limited, special deluxe edition. It will make you laugh, cry and really has something for the whole family. Pick up your copy today! Click Here to Buy

Weight Loss Plan

I have a question to pose. On television ads featuring weight loss plans, why do the before and after picture look so different? I understand that the person should look a lot slimmer. But what about the other changes? I mean, does a tanning package and a bottle of hair dye come with the "wonder" fat-burning pills? Take some time and look the next time you see one of these commercials. In the before picture: A tired looking, pale, dark haired fat woman wearing sweats and a t-shirt. In the after picture: A tan, skinny, blond haired woman in a swimsuit. Come on!
At least make it look realistic.
That is an easy lawsuit waiting to happen. I am going to take the pills and when I don't get tan and end up on a beach somewhere, with blond highlights, I am going to cry "False Advertising". Then I will win my lawsuit, eat steak all the time and get fat. But, the ironic thing is, there will be no fat burning pills to take, because I will have forced the company out of business with my lawsuit.

Second to None

I came up with a brilliant idea this past weekend. For some reason I kept hearing the phrase "Second to None", on the radio and on television commercials. For some reason all these companies think that they are the best. This got me thinking......
Somebody should start a business named "None". Think about it, it is a marketing gold mine. Everytime an ad says that they are "Second to None", they are actually admitting that your company, "None", is the best. You are #1. They are second to only you.
I am a genius. Pure and simple. :)

Thank You Target

One of the most valuable things I get from Target each week isn't the groceries I buy, but the plastic bags they come in. This is true of plastic bags from any grocery store. I prefer Target bags because they are a little heavier quality, but that is neither here nor there. The point is..... You can use them for just about anything. Here is just a short list of the wonders of the Target plastic bag. The main thing I use them for is my daily lunch sack. They are perfect. Each day you see the work fridge lined with different grocery store bags. They are so much cooler than paper bags! Okay, here are some other ways to recycle your plastic bags:
1. Use them for cleaning the litter box
2. Use them as a trash can liner in a small garbage can
3. Make a new outfit with them (see picture)
4. Use them to put your old soda cans in
5. They make perfect cat toys (my kitten can't get enough)
6. Use them for taking clothes to the good will
7. Do you have a new pair of shoes and it is raining...No problem, use the sacks to put over your shoes to protect them.
8. If you are a professional hitman, you can use them to suffocate your victims
9. They make a perfect parachute for hamsters!
10. Use them to take clothes to the laundry mat
11. And last but now least...... They are great to vomit in.

Thanks Target! We should be paying for these sacks. :)

Goodbye Independent Tom

On the Drive

Today was just like any other day while driving to work. I was listening to some tunes, spacing off and trying not to be blinded by the sun. Then, I saw something. It was car transporter. But, this one was empty. The wheel tracks leading up to the back of the truck didn't look that far from the ground. It looked as if I could just drive my Ion right up it. I starting thinking to myself.... I should try it. Why should I do the same boring thing everyday? TODAY, I AM GOING TO GET CRAZY!!

So I floored my little 4-cylinder Saturn Ion (I felt like Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder). I was determined to get onto the back of the car transporter. My wheels met with the back of the truck, a horrible metal on metal screaching sound pierced my ears. I lost control of the car and did a 360 onto the otherside of the interstate. Wow. I guess the little Ion couldn't handle it. But at least I gave it a shot. :) I can't wait to explain this one to the insurance guy.

Captain Obvious Award Winner

Have you seen these signs while driving around town? Do they really need to be posted? This easily gets the "Thanks, Captain Obvious" Award for the year. Shouldn't we just know that you love your kids? Do you really need a sign stating the fact? Will this sign stop someone from driving fast?.........NO! You think some road rage driver doing 65mph in your neighborhood is going to see the sign and think to themselves, "Wow, I should slow down, these people love their kids. I will wait until I get to the next neighborhood without a sign, where they hate their kids, to speed up and finish my beer."

An Unfortunate Event

This is what I walked into today at work. My cube being filled with the black and yellow of the Hawkeyes(Oh yes, they even changed my computer desktop display to little Hawkeyes)....... Not exactly a nice way to start the day. On the eve of the year's biggest football game in Iowa, this is how my co-workers decided to spend their time. Of course if you didn't know, I am a huge Cyclone fan. So I have to give them some props for pulling this off. But, paybacks are always 10 times worse. Maybe I will just let the final score on Saturday be the payback. Official prediction: ISU 24 - Iowa 17. GO CLONES!

Invincible

Last night I went and saw the football movie "Invincible". The story is based on the life of Vince Papale, a bartender who gets the chance of a lifetime. A chance to play for his favorite team, the Philadelphia Eagles. The preview for the movie said "If you don't stand up and cheer at this movie, you don't have a pulse." Well, I guess that there is 120 people in West Des Moines who are dead, including me. It was a good movie, but isn't up there with other classic movies such as "Rudy" and "Remember the Titans". Although, I would recommend seeing this movie because it is a great inspirational movie.
Movie going tip - If you go and see movies at the Century Jordan Creek in West Des Moines, check out this website. Each week you can sign up to receive a free concession coupon. With the high prices of food there, this saves you $3-$4 everytime you go.

Wet Plastic = Anger

I don't ask for too many things in my life. But for once, I would like to open up my dishwasher and see a new sight. All I want is to have my tupperware and other plastic items be dry! Everytime, it's the same old thing. I pick up the piece of tupperware and water dribbles all over. Either that or there is a big puddle on top of my favorite plastic Iowa State mug. What I don't understand is...... It has an option for "Heated Dry". Shouldn't this take care of the problem? I know this isn't an isolated event. I have used over 10 dishwashers, all with the same effect.

If someone knows of a dishwasher, that guarantees to dry tupperware please let me know! I am willing to pay large sums of money and maybe even my first born child. Just help me get a piece of dry tupperware!!!

Girl You Know It's True

Girl, you know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love you.
Yes, you know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love you.
Girl, you know it's true.
My love is for you.
Girl, you know it's true.
My love is for you.


For some reason today, Milli Vanilli songs started popping up in my head. THEY WON'T GO AWAY! For those of you younger then me, Milli Vanilli was one of the most popular groups when I was in 6th grade (Just a few years ago). I even remember going to see them perform at Vets Auditorium. I was such a dork. Anyways, all my dreams were shattered when I found out that they had been lip synching and a big scandal ensued. But now that I look back on it, the music was still good. So what if Rob and Fab didn't sing. I need to go break out my old Milli Vanilli tapes. Maybe they could make a comeback! Email your local radio station now and let them know....YOU WANT TO HEAR MILLI VANILLI!..........Hmmmmm..... I think I might be going crazy. I guess I will just "Blame it on the Rain".

Comedy at it's best.

If you haven't watched the Office (New NBC - US Version), do yourself a favor and catch an episode or two. Anyone who works in the typical office with cubicles, a water cooler and strange co-workers can relate. It cracks me up everytime. Season 1 is available on DVD and Season 2 is coming out this month.

If you are looking for a movie version that is similar, then check out Office Space. This movie will make you feel better about your job. :)

Are you ready for some football?

The time is finally here. Football season is upon us. Break out the little smokies and face paint. The Cyclones open the season tonight at 7pm. Is this the season when Iowa St can climb over the mountain and win the Big 12 North? Tonight's 1st game against Toledo could turn out to be a hard test for the Clones, who have an untested defense. My prediction.....ISU 38 - Toledo 27. Bret Meyer and Todd Blythe (dynamic duo), will carry the Clones to victory!

28 and Counting

Well, I am officially 28 years old, as announced by DM Juice. There is a little blurb in there about me this week. Click here to see it.

Busy as a Bee

I figured that I had better give some kind of excuse for not writing for so long. Well I have been busy. The Wedding plans are in full swing and the days of freedom are almost over. But I tell you this...... Having a wedding is way too expensive!! We are trying to keep it small, but you know that couldn't happen. At least the honeymoon is paid for! (Cabo San Lucas - Five Star All Inclusive Resort)

Let's see, what other excuses do I have up my sleeve? Oh yeah.... The Honey Do List. I just bought a new townhome four months ago. I figured if I bought a new townhouse there wouldn't be much to fix up. I was wrong. My girl-spouse has decided that we need to upgrade everything. Oh well, at least I got my 42" plasma I wanted.

The Brogan Code

It's official......... "Brogan" is the top selling book by an Iowan named Thomas Brogan that was published in the month of March. What an honor! Don't forget to get your copy today. www.broganbook.com

It's also official..... I am addicted to the food network. I can't get enough of it! Iron Chef America is my favorite, followed closely by any food challenge. I have even started trying to cook a lot of the recipes I see. Why have I turned to the Food Network?
Besides the fact that it is good t.v. and I love to eat, I think it is because regular television has become crap. The only shows on any more are reality shows, cheesy sitcoms that I don't find funny or shows that see how much they can push the limit of sexually explicit material. I don't want anything to do with this stuff.

I miss the days of new episodes of Seinfeld, Friends and Cheers. Back when television was actually funny!! What do you think?

NKNC ATTITUDE

Only 145 days left until "Independant Thomas" is gone. Then the Wedding will be here. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to take my vows with the woman I love. But lately I have seen some changes taking place in me. The one that worries me the most is my NKNC attitude. NKNC stands for "Not Knowing, Not Caring". This is my whole strategy towards my appearance.
I used to be considered borderline "Pretty Boy". I always had to have my hair looking perfect, had to be clean shaven and even had some Banana Republic outfits. Now I dress for Thunderdome. I just don't care. I don't know if it because I don't have to impress the ladies anymore or what. I will now go out in public without gel in my hair! I throw on whatever is the most comfortable to run to the supermarket. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I never shave on the weekend. By the time Sunday comes I resemble Big Foot.
I wonder if this is part of becoming older or just the beginning of married life as I know it? I guess as long as don't ever get matching jogging suits. That is where I must draw a line!

Uncomfortable Return

Well, I did it again this morning. I seem to fall into the same trap on a daily basis. A trap set by my self. I opened the door to my car this morning to head for work. Of course I was only half awake (like a zombie pretty much). I slowly put the key in and started the Ion up. Then............... BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No it wasn't a car bomb planted by a member of the Corleone family, it was my radio turned up to a point where it felt like my ears were going to bleed. What was I thinking when I pulled my car into the garage the night before?
Isn't it strange that the music didn't seem so loud the night before, but now it just made me insane in the membrane. Another one of life's mysteries. I guess I could just get in the habit of turning off the radio when I leave the car..... But that would be too easy. :)

The Drinking Fountain Incident

I did it. I never thought I would, but it happened. I tried to be strong, I tried to hold out........ But I couldn't! I am ashamed of myself. I cheated on my girl spouse...... with a drinking fountain.

I have no excuses..... Yes I was thirsty..... Yes I had a sore throat. But still I should have just walked away. It was so shiny and polished. It was calling out to me! I couldn't control myself. I made my move..... I slowly and gently pushed the button on the fountain. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach in anticipation for the water. As the water begin to flow I noticed something was wrong. The water was only coming out of the spout a few centimeters. I tried to push the button harder, hoping to get some more water to flow out.... Nothing happened. What was I suppose to do? I had gone this far already. But, I didn't want to put my mouth where thousands of other germ harvesting mouths had been. I was in too deep. I couldn't stop myself. I lowered my head and took the dive....... Then it hit me. I just made out with a water fountain!

Brogan, The Book

The book is available for purchase a week ahead of schedule. Buy your copy today! Only $8.95

Book Description:
Brogan takes a step back and looks at life in a very different way. It is a collection of blogs from "Brogan's Blog", along with many other thoughts, idea, rants and observations. From eating cereal when you wake up, to trying to fall asleep at night, Brogan will give you a whole new way of thinking about life. A great new book by Iowa author Thomas Brogan.

For more info go to www.broganbook.com

Engagement Conspiracy?

The more and more I think about engagement and marriage the more and more I think men are getting the raw end of the deal. Why is it that men have to spend thousands of dollars on a ring to propose with? In a way, this is like purchasing a wife. It sounds bad, but you can't really propose without a ring. So until you save up money to buy the ring....you have no wife. Do you see what I am saying?
In today's society where women and men are suppose to be equal in all things....why not the engagement? Here is my idea. LET THIS BE WRITTEN: From now on, if a woman wants to marry a man, they have to present them with a plasma T.V. It seems like a fair trade. A plasma costs about the same as a ring, sometimes cheaper. This way both the bride and the groom enter into the marriage equally. What do you think?

You've really got a MOLD on me.

Yesterday I made myself a nice BLT sandwich (Crisp bacon, crunchy lettuce and garden fresh tomatoes). It tasted great! Today I grabbed the bread from the bread box and what did I see?............ MOLD!!!! Could this mold have been there yesterday when I ate the BLT? Did it just grow overnight? I suddenly started to feel sick to my stomach. The BLT sandwich tasted good enough. Wouldn’t I have noticed if there was mold on the bread?
Isn’t it amazing how our minds work against us? I don’t know for sure if I ate mold or not, but just the thought of it made me want to throw up in my mouth. Have you ever seen something after that the fact with food? Maybe you noticed that the milk was out of date after you drink it. How did you react??

It feels like I am taking Crazy Pills!

Is anyone else sick of these stupid Mediacom Commercials? 
Do you know the ones that I am talking about.  They are set in a comedy
club and it has some local comedian doing a bit about how DSL is so much slower
than a cable modem.  It seems like they are on every channel, at all hours
of the day!......Do I agree with the commercials?  Heck Yes!  A cable
modem does seem to work faster.  Do I want to hear about it?  NO. 
Really the more and more I think about it and see these annoying commercials, it
makes me not want to use Mediacom.  Because every time I pay my cable bill,
it means that Mediacom can afford to air more commercials.  What do you
think??

Movie Time Fear

Have you ever been to a movie where you are the only person there? This happens a lot of times when you go to a movie in the afternoon during the week. It is like having your own private screening room. You can put your feet up and relax, not have to worry about anybody talking….. and then……at the last second, somebody else walks into the theater. All is lost!
I don’t mind as much if the person sits in front of me. Then at least I can see what they are up to. If they sit behind me then I am just plain paranoid. I always have this fear that they are going to come up from behind me and slit my throat. I guess I have seen too many scary movies. It could be a 98 year old grandma and in my mind I would be thinking of Norman Bates (Psycho) dressing up like his old mom killing people!

Gong Fu

I am a huge tea fan. So the other day when I was down in the East Village and saw a tea place, I had to check it out. Besides the name of the establishment was Gong Fu Tea (Anything that sounds like Kung Fu has to be good, right?). Gong Fu has many great tea flavors to choose from and also offers a small selection of cookies and sweet breads. Definitely take a trip and check out this great store! They are located at 414 East 6th St in Des Moines.
http://www.gongfu-tea.com/

The History of Tea: The story of tea began in ancient China over 5,000 years ago. According to legend, Shen Nung, an early emperor was a skilled ruler, creative scientist and patron of the arts. His far-sighted edicts required, among other things, that all drinking water be boiled as a hygienic precaution. One summer day while visiting a distant region of his realm, he and the court stopped to rest. In accordance with his ruling, the servants began to boil water for the court to drink. Dried leaves from the near by bush fell into the boiling water, and a brown liquid was infused into the water. As a scientist, the Emperor was interested in the new liquid, drank some, and found it very refreshing. And so, according to legend, tea was created.

Lazy Tom

The building I work at downtown is connected to the skywalk system. As you walk into the connecting skywalk bridge to our building you are greeted by a set of glass closed doors. You can either open them manually or use the automatic button that is meant to be for handicapped individuals. I hate to admit this but I always push the button instead of actually taking an extra second and opening the door myself. I am not the only person who is guilty of this. I have taken the time to notice lately and pretty much 4 out of 5 people will push the automatic button. Are we all just that lazy? Maybe it is okay to use these buttons even though I am capable of using my arms and legs?............
As I was thinking about this situation, the truth hit me like a brick in the face. I was walking up to the door and noticed a person in a wheelchair coming towards me from the opposite direction. Instead of pushing the button like normal, I opened the door myself because I felt guilty to be using the automatic button with a handicapped person watching me. Wow! I felt like a superficial idiot. I only opened the door because someone was watching. It shouldn't really matter how I act when someone is watching, it should be how I act when nobody is watching. That is the true person. Needless to say, now I open the door myself with the arms and hands that I have been blessed with.

Check out this link for some great Des Moines Coupons:

ValPak Coupons

Rear View Mirror

I have noticed lately when I have been driving many stupid things hanging from rear view mirrors. I know people have been doing this for years, such as the fuzzy dice back in the 60’s, but there are 3 of the current day versions that I really think are dumb.

1. The Mardi Gras Beads – These are just plain annoying. No this isn’t New Orleans (Even though we both have had floods), we don’t have women lining up on Grand Avenue flashing for beads…….So why do we have to put the beads on the rear view mirror? Another thing that strikes me as odd is a lot of the people driving these cars are old. I am hoping that one of their kids got the beads because that makes for a bad visual.
2. The Handcuffs – Does this mean that you are a hardened criminal? Or is this to imply some kind of bedside manner. Whatever the case, it makes you look like white trash.
3. The Visor (Hat) – I don’t know why this really bugs me………It just doesn’t make since. Why put a visor around your rear view mirror? If anyone has an answer to this let me know. Does this help block the sun out when you are driving??

Peanuts

I was eating dinner the other night at Texas Roadhouse with a couple of friends of mine. At each table there is a bucket of peanuts to nibble on. One of my friends asked me, how are peanuts grown..... and you know what, I didn't know. After doing some research later that night this is what I found (just in case you are as clueless as I am).

Many people are surprised to learn that peanuts do not grow on trees like pecans or walnuts. Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. The peanut plant is unusual because it flowers above ground but the peanut grows below ground. Planted in the early spring, the peanut grows best in calcium rich sandy soil. For a good crop, 120 to 140 frost free days are required. Farmers harvest the peanuts in the fall. The peanuts are pulled from the ground by special machinery and turned over to dry in the fields for several days. The combine machines then separate the peanuts from the vines and blow the tender moist peanuts into special hoppers. They are dumped into a drying wagon and cured by forcing warm air through the wagons. Afterwards, the peanuts are taken to buying stations where they are inspected and graded for sale.

Cleaning Up Christmas

Now that Christmas is over, it is time to start cleaning up. My least favorite part of the cleanup is taking down the tree. We use an artificial tree in our house, which makes the clean up a pain in the neck. Why don't they make the boxes that the tree comes in a little bigger? Why must it be jammed packed into the box in the first place? I know that this saves space, but come on! Every year when the time comes we have to try and shove the tree back into the box. This usually consists of having someone sit on the box while I try and wrap duct tape around it (looks like a weird game of twister, branches are poking through the corners and ripping the box up. Maybe I am the only one that has problems like this?............

Oh well, at least it only happens once a year. Maybe next year I will celebrate Festivus and just have a metal pole instead of a tree!