Blogger's Choice Award

Do you know of some great blogs scattered across the internet. Maybe even some really good blogs, like the one that you are reading now? Well, now you have a chance to vote for your favorite blogs. The Blogger's Choice Award give you a chance to nominate and vote for blogger awards. They have lots of different catergories from "Worth Blog of All Time" to "Freakiest Blogger". The Thoughts of Thomas has been nominated on the site under two catergories; "Best Humor Blog" and "Best Blog of All-Time" A good way of showing your support would be to go to the website and vote for my blog! There are no restrictions to nominations, votes, or comments. You can nominate as many blog sites as you want. In fact, the more the merrier. You can also comment as often as you'd like. You may also vote for as many blogs as you like, but you can only vote once per blog, per category.
I think is is a fun chance to see other blogs that you may have not paid attention to before. You really don't know until you start looking how many blogs are really out there. There are blogs on every subject matter possible. The blogger awards give us a chance to see them all! So don't be shy, vote for your favorite blogs (even if it's not mine). You can cast a vote because you think the blog is pretty, is user-friendly, or simply because you like the person who created it. Just look for the "Vote" button to the right of each blog and click on it to cast your vote.

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Alarm Clock

There are some mornings when I wish I could just bash my alarm clock with a bat. I usually feel like this when I have had a really terrible night of sleep. The worst for me is when I have something really important going on the next morning. My internal alarm clock is off by a few hours. I will have my alarm set for 6:30am. I wake up at 4:30am on my own. Then starts the most miserable two hours of my day. I don’t think I really get back to sleep after that. It is just a series of me looking over at the clock thinking that it is time to wake up. But, really when I am looking over only a matter of minutes have passed. I think this might be what hell is like.
Other mornings my alarm clock just doesn’t go off at all. I forgot to set it, radio is turned down to low or my personal favorite, I set it for pm instead of am. This is one of the most paranoid feelings I can have in my day. I wake up feeling good (really because I got a few extra hours of sleep) and then I look over at the clock. I am 3 hours late to work! It is like a shot of adrenaline hits my heart. I pop out of bed and miraculously I can take a morning routine that usually takes me 30 minutes and condense it to only 3 minutes. It’s just a mass chaos of clothes flying and cologne spraying in that small time frame. Of course then you have to explain at work why you were late. It makes for such a wonderful day. At least we always have that old alarm clock to blame!

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Blades of Glory

I went and saw the new comedy "Blades of Glory" this past weekend. I had been anticipating this movie for a long time, ever since I saw this first preview. How could you go wrong with Ricky Bobby and Napolean Dynamite? First off, let me warn you not to expect too much of a plot. But, if you like funny movies, this is a must see movie. Will Ferrell is genius in his character of "sex on ice", Chaz Michael Michaels. No other actor could puke inside a mascot head and make it so vulgure and yet so funny! For you Office fan's you get to see your favorite Jenna Fischer (Pam Beasley) on the big screen as John Heder's love interest. Bottom Line: Go see it and have a few laughs.

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Come on Baby Light My Fire

Even though I bought a new townhome, I have been doing a lot of improvements this past year. From painting, to adding slate tile, finishing the basement, I have been a busy man. Most recently, my wife wanted some new lighting in our kitchen area. We decided to get some track lighting to put up. We looked around some local hardware shops and found that their prices were way to high. I decided to take the search online and found a great Home Lighting website. They have a huge selection of track lighting and fluorescent ceiling lights that would work perfect for our kitchen. Plus, the prices were just what we were looking for. I would suggest if you are looking for lighting you check out Shoppremier.

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Mold Matters

Mold is something that should not be taken lightly. If you house get mold in it from water damage due to a flood it can have some serious consequences. Some people are sensitive to molds. For these people, exposure to molds can cause symptoms such as nasal stuffiness, eye irritation, wheezing, or skin irritation. Some people, such as those with serious allergies to molds, may have more severe reactions. Severe reactions may occur among workers exposed to large amounts of molds in occupational settings, such as farmers working around moldy hay. Severe reactions may include fever and shortness of breath. Some people with chronic lung illnesses, such as obstructive lung disease, may develop mold infections in their lungs.

PA Mold Managers provides certified mold remediation and water damage services throughout the tri-state area for commercial, residential and industrial properties using the latest techniques and state-of-the-art equipment.
If you need help with mold, then this New Jersey Mold Inspector can help!

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Need a Good Book?

The Brogan Book: Your Daily Blarney is now available at Barnes and Noble Bookstore. Click here to get a copy of my book today! You won't be dissapointed. It will make you laugh, cry and has something for the whole family!

Brogan is a collection of Blogs from the "Thoughts of Thomas". It takes a step back and looks at life in a very different way. The book includes thoughts, ideas, rants, blarney, sarcasm, and observations on everyday situations that happen to all of us. Brogan also includes some interesting poetry that will make you laugh and possibly inspire you.

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Search Engine Optimization

There are a lot of companies out there claiming that they can get your website better search engine optimization. But, many of them are quite expensive and make you pay for the services up front in one large lump sum of money. Etrafficejams.com is a search engine optimization company that not only provides great results, but the have pay for performance monthly plans where a client pays according to how many top 10 organic (non ppc) rankings they get for them in Google, yahoo and msn only. We all now how important it is to have good placement in search engines. If you are not in that top ten, your company might not be getting notices and in return you are missing out on a lot revenue you could be making. Etrafficjams.com uses the same proven, ethical search engine optimization strategies on your site that they use on their own. And they offer a variety of organic search engine placement services to suit every budget and every marketing goal.
My advice is to check Etrafficjams.com out if you are looking to get some more hits on your site and be on your way to higher profits.

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A Case of the Mondays

This is great! All you fans of the movie Office Space will love this. If you haven't seen the movie.... what is wrong with you? The movie totally describes the life on a boring office working. My favorite part of the movie has to be the part where they take the copier machine out to the field and beat it with a bat. I totally understand how they feel. I have wanted to bash plenty of computer equipment in my time. I also love the opening seen where they are stuck in traffic and actually see an old lady in a walker pass them up in their cars. Believe me, if you work in an office, especially if you have a cubicle, you will relate to this movie.

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Drug Rehabilitation

Everybody has been affected by alcohal and drug addiction in their life at some point. If it has not affected you, then it has a friend or family member. For some people addiction will ruin their lives or even kill them. Without help, it can be almost impossible to break the cycle and stop your addiction. Thankfully there are places for people to get help.
Personally, I have seen many of my friends battle against alcohal addiction. They have tried to stop cold turkey and just can't do it on their own. They needed a place to get proper alcoholism treatment. Successful alcoholism addiction treatment involves analyzing different aspects of the addiction and achieving success in individual areas. Only by successfully treating all aspects of alcohol addiction will successful alcohol addiction recovery be achieved. This is where a great rehab center like the Stone Hawk Rehabilitation Center can be a great option. Located in Michigan, the facility gives the patient all the support and education they need to break their addiction. It is this support and feedback that can determine the chances of a successful recovery.

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Memoirs of a Straw

I was eating dinner at one of my favorite local restuarants. I had a wonderful fried walleye sandwich and some tasty waffle fries to eat in front of me. To drink, I had some ice cold Cherry Pepsi Soda (Yes, it's soda - see link). In my mind, there is no better way to drink a soda then with a straw. Which most of the time is no big deal. But once in a while I seem to loose all hand eye coordination with the process of drinking from a straw. This was one of those times.
So I went to grab my half full glass (gotta think positive) of soda. As I was bringing the glass towards my mouth the straw went straight into my nose. OOOPS! (Now I realize I have a big nose, but this just shouldn't happen.) My cat-like reflexes snatched the straw out of my nose. My first thought was.... Did anybody see? I paused to look around to see if anybody was laughing. I think I made it. I was in the clear. Now, should I drink from the straw even though it was in my nose? If I didn't drink from the straw again it would appear strange. So, to save face I stuck the snot infested straw in my mouth and took up a slurp of soda.

Has this ever happened to you?

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Piece of Mind

As many of you know, without insurance you can sometimes get yourself in trouble. You can end up paying thousand of dollars in medical and other bills that you would'nt have to with insurance. I just got my bill from getting a cleaning at the Dentist. It cost $130! Since I had Dental Insurance I didn't have to worry about coming up with a chunk of change like that.
Also if you have ever been on vacation, travel insurance is a must. Especially when traveling out of the country. You just don't know what will happen when you travel. Unfortunately, there are events that come up in life that make it impossible to keep reservations. Illness or accidental injuries are a couple of reasons why a trip may have to be delayed. Imagine a broken leg in advance of your next ski trip. With travel insurance, the traveler will not be out any money and is free to reschedule their trip at a later time.
I found a great website where you can get quotes for all different types of insurance. I suggest that you take a look at it, especially if you don't have insurance!

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Protect Your PC

If you are anything like you me you want to protect the investment you have put into your PC. I mean they aren't cheap and if you get a virus on your computer you could lose photographs, work info, songs and much more. I found a great website where you can download free Antivirus software in just a matter of moments. You get Norton Antivirus from Google for free! Norton is one of the leading brands in protecting your computer. Just look and see what many others are saying. Another great feature of the download is you have the option to download 12 other helpful software programs that can make life on the computer much easier. One of the 12 additional options are a spyware program that can protect you from others watching what you are doing and from those annoying popup that we all love. So I guess I can't see why you wouldn't want to take advantage of this offer? If you go to your local electronic superstore you will pay a lot of money for the same software you can download for free here.

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Great Recipe for Shepard's Pie

I am a huge fan of Shepard's Pie. It must be the Irish in me. I am also trying to lose some excess marriage weight. So I found this great recipe on the Food Network for Turkey Shepard's Pie. It is low in fat and still tastes awesome. This isn't the quickest meal to make, but it is worth the effort. Makes a lot for left overs or invite your frieds over. The first time I made this recipe my wife and I had dinner and then lunches for two days in a row. That makes life a lot easier. Also might I recommend having a nice Irish beer with this meal. A nice Guiness is the perfect companion for this meal. For dessert..... Maybe some Baily's to keep with the Irish theme. Click here for Rachel Ray's great recipe!

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Lead Management

I ran across a great sales lead management software provider website. They seem to be one step ahead all the others.
Take one look at the enterprise-level features available in the AIMpromote lead management system and you will know why they are the fastest growing lead management and website analytics software provider on the market. You will notice that whichever plan you choose, you will receive all the features. Their clients have expressed their gratitude for having every feature available, and pricing based on overall usage.
The total cost of ownership of AIMpromote into an exisiting business process is far lower than competing products, and they strive to provide the very best in customer support and business consultation. Their objective is to make your business grow as fast as possible, so take advantage of their full featured free trial now and see why so many have chosen AIMpromote as their lead management solution.

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Terry Tate Office Linebacker - Sensitivity Training

Another Terry Tate Video to Watch. This is just marketing genious! In this episode Terry has offended some people in the office with his brash tactics. So they have to bring in a special sensitivity trainer. It is ironic that she ends up showing lots of cleavage and then sexually harrasses on of the workers in the office. I find this funny because I think that this whole harrassment thing has gone too far. You can just look at somebody at work and get in trouble. There is no clear line on what is right and wrong.

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Making Money Blogging

I recently starting blogging for a website that pays you to blog. I figured I had to try it out. I like to blog, I like to get paid, so it made a perfect match in my mind. I am always skeptical of online make money schemes but this is a legit opportunity to make some cash. I have been doing it for only 4 days now and have made $31.00. Making that money only took me a few minutes doing something that I already like to do, write blogs. The better your blog, the better opportunities to make money you have. The advertisers who use Payperpost give opportunities based on your google page rank, alexa score or what blog service you use. So far most of the opportunities that I am elgible for have been around $6.00 per post. That is way more than you can make selling ads on your blog or other revenue making methods for your blog. So if you noticed lately that I have been writing about some other business opportunities this is why.
I hope to continue making more blog entries and making more money using the Payperpost service. My plan is to take the extra money I make and put it into my Sharebuilder account and buy up more stock each month. I figure it is better to invest it in something rather than waste it away all at once. By the way I am really high on buying up Sirius Satellite Radio stock right now, hoping that the merger with XM Radio will go through so that my stock goes up. But that is neither here no there. So I would encourage all my fellow bloggers to check out Payperpost. On the main home page they list the all time earners and there is one lady who has made over $8,000 dollars. Just from blogging! So there is a possibility with enough hard work and good blogging you could join her in making some money off the internet!

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The Office Wait is Almost Over

Will Roy beat up Jim? What will happen next on the Office. We will find out April 5th when a new episode comes out. The video gives us a recap of Season 3 so far and gives a clip from the new show! Enjoy.

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Music Notes

I am a big music fan. I am a fan all of types of music, from dance to classical to hip-hop. I am also a big fan of Industrial Artists. I was searching the internet the otherday and stumbled across a cool website that lists independent artists from around the world. I sometimes prefer the smaller independent artists than those who sell out their sound to make money and go mainstream. While surfing thru the site I found a cool group called DigitalTraffic. The music is a mixture of electronica and industrial. It is very energetic music that makes the work day go by fast! On the site, DigitalTraffic talks about the advantages of modern technology to develop your own music and produce it at a very low cost. This way you don't have to join a record label. You should check out this great new music from Great Britain. Click on the link below to check out the website for greatIndustrial Artists.

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Cyclones Top Ticket Mark

(www.cyclones.com)
AMES, Iowa – For the second year in a row, Iowa State has sold more season football tickets than it has ever sold in the history of the program. The current total of 31,168 surpasses last year’s record of 30,728 and comes over five months prior to the Cyclones first football game on August 30th.

“We are excited to have already established a new football season ticket record more than five months prior to our season opener. Last year we did not reach 30,000 season football tickets until late in August,” Director of Athletics Jamie Pollard said. “We are committed to selling as many football season tickets as possible and our staff looks forward to continuing to sell season tickets during the next five months. Increasing our number of football season ticket holders will help us build a stronger financial foundation for our future.”

Most impressive to Pollard, are the 3,500 new season ticket orders (either brand new sales or additional season tickets ordered by existing accounts). “Much like a coach adding new recruits to the roster,” Pollard said, “we are always trying to identify new Cyclone fans. It appears many new season ticket holders want to get in on the ground floor of the Gene Chizik era and we welcome them with open arms.”

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Mortgage Refinancing

Getting a good interest rate on your mortgage can save you lots of money in the long run. It is amazing how a few points can make such a difference over a 15 year or 30 year loan, but it does! I recently bought my first house and I really shopped around to get that great interest rate. Rates now are still at record lows. You can refinance your mortgage now and save yourself thousdands of dollars. I found a great website that has good deals and lots of information to help you make an informed decision. I would recommend checking it out while interests are still so low. What better way to save money or have extra money to fix up your house. They specialize in California Mortgages, so if you are looking to same some money and live on the west coast this is definately worth checking out.

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The Wet Touch

I had just washed my hands after using the restroom at my office. I somewhat dried my hands and began my exit out the door. Just then I heard someone from behind me call out my name. I turned around and saw an old acquintance who I hadn't seen for a number of years. He went to shake my hand and I froze. My hands were still a little wet from the bathroom. I can't shake his hand with a wet hand. That is just awkward. He might think that I just urinated on my hand. I know how gross it is when I have to shake somebody's hand that is wet. It's just gross! I didn't have time to think of any excuses for being rude, so I just hugged him. This was completely weird, for both of us. I don't think he knew what to do. I ended the embrace..... Complete silence. Then he just walked away. Wow! That went well. He may think that I am a little weird, but at least he didn't think I had urine on my hand!

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Pain in the Neck

I don't know about you, but for me sometimes work can be a pain in the neck. I am talking literally! I sit at the computer for the better part of an 8 hour work day and this can wear down a person's body. People just laugh at me when I say that I am tired from my work because I sit all day. But sitting at a computer can lead to headaches, back pain and neck aches. I am always trying to find ways to help get rid of my pain and have a healthy life. I came across a great website that deals with Spine and Sport Medicine. So if you are looking for Physical Therapy near New York, their office is located in Manhattan, New York and after looking at their website, I am impressed!

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Drinking Wine in Bed?

I get a kick out of the mattress commercials I see on television. The mattress company tries to impress us by showing how you can set a glass of red wine on one side of the bed and then lay down on the other side without the wine spilling. Now, I am not a raging alcoholic, so I might not know for sure. But, how many people are drinking wine in bed and then need to set the glass down on their bed. Have they ever heard of a night stand?
Then you have the commercial with the bowling ball being dropped on the mattress. This makes sense. Just the other day I was bowling in bed and it kept my wife up all night.
I know these commercials are just trying to prove a point with the wine and bowling ball, but why not show us something that shows the mattress working for a practical use? You could show a fat man (or woman), jumping into bed after their spouse is already asleep. With a normal mattress, the fat man sends his spouse flying out of bed. With the new improved mattress, the spouse doesn't lose one second of sleep!

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Some Great Coupons

Some of my good friends call me "frugal" or "cheap". I take this as a compliment because it means I am wise with my money. I found a cool website that you can get coupons for your favorite stores. Among the stores on the site is my all time favorite store, Target. This is a great place to get Target coupons. I can spend hours in Target shopping for books, dvds, clothes, music and more. We even do our grocery shopping there too. It really has something for the whole family. So anyways, at Couponchief.com (the online leader in coupons, deals, and discounts) you can get Target coupons for $5, $10, or free shipping. That brings a smile to my face. They also have coupons for Best Buy for all your electronic needs. If you haven't bought an HD plasama television yet, this would be the pefect time to do so. Once you have the HD experience you aren't going to want to watch anything else.

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Finding that Perfect Person

It is hard to find that special somebody out there in the world. It is even harder to find somebody who shares your similar spiritual beliefs. Luckily, I was able to find a woman who I got along with great and was a great Christian women. However it took me many years and much heart ache to find that perfect girl for me.
My search would have been a lot easier with a website that would help you find Christians in your local area. Now, Christian Singles have a website that will help you find your soul mate. ChristianLifeStyle.com is the premier dating site for Christians on the web. Just click on the following link to find out more:


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Tossing the Cookies

Well, I puked this past weekend for the first time in 3 years. I forgot how much I loved to puke! I can't think of anything that tastes as bad as puke. There is just something unpleasant about the combination of warm bile and mucas that isn't that apealing.

But, you know one time when I was little, I remember puke actually tasting good. I know, that sounds crazy. But, when I was little and had the flu, my parents would have me eat jello. On one particular occasion I was eating lime green jello (one of my favorites). I remember eating an entire bowl of the tasty green jello just a couple of hours after I had first puked. By this time I was feeling somewhat better and I ate the jello like it was going out of style...... Three minutes later I went running to the bathroom trash container to heave up the green liquid. I bent over the trash can and the green jello came spewing out. After my final heave, I could taste the limey green goodness of the jello on my lips. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, that doesn't taste bad."

Moral of the Story: For a pleasant puking experience, try Lime Green Jello (that should be a commercial).

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St. Patrick's Day

Did you know...

That green is associated with St. Patrick's Day because it's the color of spring?

That the shamrock is a traditional symbol because Saint Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to represent how the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit could exist as separate elements in the same entity?

That the first St. Patrick's Day in America was celebrated in Boston in 1737?

That the following things on St. Patrick's Day will bring you good luck? Finding a four-leaf clover, wearing green, kissing the Blarney Stone, and buying a copy of The Brogan Book: Your Daily Blarney, by Thomas Brogan.

I WISH EVERYBODY A HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY ON SATURDAY!

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Music and Lyrics

I went and saw the movie "Music and Lyrics" yesterday. It won't go down as an Oscar worthy film and it isn't in my top 20 movies of all time, but somehow I did enjoy it. I think my connection to 80's music as a youth made it all worth while. This is a good date movie and you won't have to worry having to think too hard. Check out the music video from the movie. Hugh Grant's hip thrusting is sure to make you chuckle.

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Health Insurance

Last week I received a medical guide from my health care insurance provider. The guide shows different medical conditions and symptoms that effect the human body. Now, why would my health insurance provider send this to me? Is this so I can diagnose my own conditions and not visit the doctor? Or was it to make me so paranoid about having certain conditions that I would go to the doctor? I would assume that my health insurance provider wants me to be in great physical and mental health and generally care about my well being. But after reading a few chapters in the medical guide, I think that they are just plain messing with my mind.

I feel that I am in pretty good health. Granted, I may not be able to walk upstairs in my house without running out of breath, but I get along. After reading the guide, I noticed that I had several of the symptoms for many of the medical conditions in the book. The more I read, the more I began to panic. Could I have Jondus, Avian Flu or Athlete's foot?..... My ear hurts.... What does this mean? My left pinky finger has a bump on it! What should I do?

So I visited the doctor after I calmed down. I found out that I really wasn't going through menopause or that I really didn't have Athlete's Foot. But, I did find out something that others have been saying for years.... I am crazy, thanks in part to my health insurance provider.

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Jim Gaffigan and the Hot Pockets

This past weekend I went and saw comedian Jim Gaffigan perform. What an excellent peformance! My mouth hurt from laughing too much. I would highly recommend going to see him or pick up one of his comedy CDs. Here is a little bit of his act as he talks about Hot Pockets. Prepare to laugh your butt off!

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Shoe Talk

Why do we go to such great lengths to break in a new pair of shoes? I just bought a new pair of shoes that really hurt my feet. But, I keep thinking that they will eventually "break in". I figure the more I wear them the more they will conform to my feet. But as the days go by, my feet keep hurting more and more. Maybe my feet are "breaking in" and not my shoes?

I think the most extreme example of this for me is when I bought new sandals for my cruise 4 years ago. They were probably the coolest sandals that I have ever seen in my 28 years on this earth. I spent quite a bit of money on them (for me it was a lot, I am kinda cheap) and was hell bent on wearing them the entire vacation. The sandals were fine for walking around the cruise ship, a little uncomfortable, but not bad. The next day the boat docked in the Bahamas. I had booked a trip to a private island for snorkeling and a grill out. It sounded perfect! Little did I know that I would have to walk over 3 miles to get to the boat to take me to the private island. This is when my sandals decided to act up a bit. Underneath the buckle on the side, the metal began to dig into my skin. A blister formed... then blood began to trickle down my foot. I was in horrible pain...... So I finally made it to the island and let me tell you, the salt water felt so great on the new cuts on my feet (ouch). When my time on the island was over I had to make the painful walk back to the cruise ship. I swore at that point I would never wear those sandals again..... The next day rolled around and I thought I would give the sandals one more try. By now they had to have been "broken in", right? Besides, I paid so much money, I can't just let them go to waste. WRONG! I slipped the sandals on and the metal buckle immediately pierced back into my open wound. I screamed like a little girl. I took the sandals off and ran to the top deck of the ship. I ran to the edge and launched the sandals overboard into the sea. I raised my arms in victory and belted out "I'm king of the world"! I felt so free.

Did I learn my lesson. Apparantly not. I sit hear typing this with my new shoes on, waiting for them to "break in". Sometimes I am an idiot.

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BlizzardFest 2007

Well, winter has finally hit Iowa in February. We have had pretty good weather throughout the winter season, which made me start to believe in global warming. But, just when I thought spring was here.... a blizzard! I don't really mind the snow. I am use to it growing up in the midwest all my life. But there is one thing that annoys me about this inclimate weather. It is the scrolling messages on television showing all the closings and cancellations. If I am trying to watch a television program it is really distracting. It makes the screen smaller and every so often it gives a chime alert that pierces my ears and makes my cat go in to spontaneous convulsions (This is beyond scientific explanation). I do have to admit that sometimes the scrolling information is good. If I am looking to see if my work is closed, it is the best thing since sliced bread. Although you have to pay really good attention. With 400 or so closings on bad weather days, if I blink.... I may miss my work listing. Then you have to wait another 15 minutes for it to scroll through again. Sometimes I will sit there for up to an hour looking for my work listing, thinking that it will magically appear. Wow, my life is just so hard!

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2 Sneezing Myths

2 Friday myths......

1. I had always heard that getting pepper in your nose would make you sneeze. FALSE. Contrary to what you see in Bugs Bunny cartoons, this doesn't work. I personally snorted some pepper yesterday and nothing happened. A little burning maybe, but no sneeze.

2. Another sneezing myth that I have busted. So called experts have always said you can't sneeze and keep your eyes open. If you did your eyes would pop out due to the 100 mph of force from the sneeze. FALSE. Just 2 hours ago I was able to sneeze and keep my left eye open. Although it did hurt a little bit, my eye definitely did not pop out. (This guy must not have been as lucky as me)

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Thursday's Salute to The Office

Yes, it is Thursday. The best day for television of the week. Why, you ask? THE OFFICE IS ON! Here is a little salute to Michael and Dwight to get you in the mood for some Office humor. Happy watching! Don't forget, tonight on NBC.

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Valtrex...Why So Happy?

So I was watching some television last night and I saw a very strange commercial. It was a commercial for a drug named Valtrex. If I would have had the television muted I would have thought it was for couples who had just won 10 million dollars or found out they are going to live forever. But no...... Valtrex is a drug for people with Genital Herpes. If you don't know what genital herpes is here you go:

"Genital herpes is an STD that typically appears as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur."

So back to the commercial. The couples they show on this commercial are riding bikes, taking hikes, hugging each other, jumping for joy and acting like life is perfect. DID YOU SEE THE DEFINITION ABOVE? I don't think the first thing I would do if I had a blister on my rectum is to jump on a bike and take a ride around town. These drug commercials don't make any sense. Valtrex may help with symptons but don't sugar coat it. If you lead people to think that STDs aren't that bad for you and can be made into paradise with a drug, then they will think why have safe sex? Then more and more STDs will be passed around. Thanks Valtrex.

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The Fat Tuesday Taxidermy Idea

"Taxidermy (Greek for "the arrangement of the skin") is the art of mounting or reproducing animals for display (e.g. as hunting trophies) or study."

I was talking with some people from work and the subject of a taxidermist came up. I had mentioned that when I die I want my body to be preserved in some manner so that I can still be seen around my house. I figured if I was stuffed, then my wife could mount me on the wall and still see me each day. This way I could be certain that she would never marry another man. Because what man would marry a woman who had a man mounted on her wall. Plus, could you really see "messing around" when your dead husband's eyes were watching you. Sure you could throw a shirt or pants over me, but I will still be there hanging out. That is just weird!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Fat Tuesday! Go eat some greasy, fatty food! :)

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Death by Water?

My wife is a nurse, so she is always talking about strange medical things. The other day she was trying to tell me that you could die from drinking too much water. I found the thought of this crazy! I know you can drown from water and that's it. How else could water kill you? Water is our friend, we depend on it to live. So after betting her a million dollars she was wrong I decided to "google" it. What I found out was astonishing. For the first time in my marriage, my wife was right (I should get in trouble for that)! Drinking too much water can kill you. Here's the scoop:
"Water intoxication (also known as hyperhydration or water poisoning) is a potentially fatal disturbance in brain function that results when the normal balance of electrolytes in the body is pushed outside of safe limits by a very rapid intake of water."
To put in it Brogan terms..... WATER KILLS! So beware. Next time you crack open that bottled water, just know this....IT COULD KILL YOU

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Valentine's Day

So I got a package today. I was so excited! I never get packages on Valentine's day. I opened with the glee of a young school boy who has just had his first kiss. And then....... sudden horror. What was in the box? I was terrified. What does this mean???? It was a pig's heart with a nail driven through it. There was a small piece of paper inside underneath the bloody red heart. Out of morbid curiousity I needed to read it. So I peeled it off the heart. Here is what it said, "Your heart has no soul and has now been cursed by the black nail of Istanbul", signed "Fast Eddy McClintock". I didn't know what to think?

To be continued...............

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Terry Tate : Office Linebacker

This is an older commercial but, nothing makes me laugh harder on a Friday than when I see Terry Tate. I wish I had a Office Linebacker at my work! "Get ready for the pain train!"

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Killer Clowns from Outerspace

I am afraid of clowns. No I am not joking. I can't stand to be around them or even look at them (it is so hard to post a picture in the blog). The kid friendly character is a nightmare to me. I still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, in a puddle of sweat because I have a dream about waking up in bed and seeing a clown standing at the foot of my bed. If I saw Bozo the clown I would run in fear!

So what is this fear?......

"Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. In discussions of causes of coulrophobia, sufferers seem to agree that the most fear-inducing aspect of clowns is the heavy makeup, often accompanied by the bulbous nose and weird color of hair, that conceals the wearer's identity."

I really think this stems back to 3 things in my childhood:

1. The Moive "IT" (Stephen King)

2. The Movie "Killer Clowns from Outerspace"

3. A TV show I saw about John Wayne Gacy, an American serial killer. He was convicted of murder of 33 boys and men, 27 of whom he buried in a crawl space under the floor of his house, while others were found in nearby rivers. He became notorious as the "Killer Clown" because of the many block parties he attended, entertaining children in a clown suit and makeup, under the name of Pogo the Clown.

I dare you to watch these shows and not have a fear of the clown. These shows are just plain messed up!

So how can somebody like me get rid of this fear. I think I need a support group to help. A place where there are others like me. Then I found it. A place where I belong. A website devoted to hating the evil clowns of the world that scare the bejesus out of us. http://www.ihateclowns.com/ncz/whyyou.php

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Funky Pool

For those of you who have some free time on your hands. Check out this website: Funky Pool

It is a cool site where you can play online Pool for free. You can learn to be a Pool shark in no time!

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Sweaters Anonymous

It is officially cold in Iowa now. The average temperature the last 5 days has been 1 degree. Now that is what I call cold my friends. But for some strange reason....... I still sweat. Now I have always had a sweating problem. I blame genetics for the one flaw in an otherwise perfect body (puke now). It seems like everyone in my family sweats alot. So this is nothing new. But today as I drove to work I stopped to think about it. Why do I sweat when it is soooo cold out. I mean I get into the car with a long sleeved shirt and my winter coat on because otherwise I would die of hypothermia. But on my drive to work every morning I "pit out". It is a no win situation. Either I freeze to death or I go to work "pitted out". Does this happen to anybody else out there?

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2007 Blooker

The Brogan Book has been entered into the 2007 Lulu Blooker Prize. The Lulu Blooker Prize is the world's first literary prize devoted to "blooks"—books based on websites such as blogs and webcomics. Of course it should win, but we won't know until March if it has made the list of finalists. What's that you say? You haven't read The Brogan Book. That's hard to believe. Well you can fix that by ordering a copy today! Click Here.

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Not So Super Bowl

What a dissapointing Super Bowl! Not only did the Bears lose, but I had to watch Prince strut around stage during halftime. Plus, the commercials weren't even that good (Even after a few Captain Morgans in my bloodstream!). I guess I don't understand it. I would say the majority of people watching the Super Bowl were men. Why would men want to watch a girlie metro sexual prance around stage. That just doesn't seem very manly. One last opinion on the Super Bowl.... When are the Bears going to find a real quarterback?

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More Great Office Drama

Yes, it is more of the Office Drama courtesy of You Tube. This is great stuff. It mixes Dwight Schrute with James Bond. Great!

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The Office gone Serious

This is some funny stuff for you OFFICE fans.

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The Red Hat Ladies

Sorry everybody for not writing for awhile. I have a good excuse. Please read the following to hear my story:

(Written December 13th, 2006)
Have you seen these ladies around town? Groups of older women get together wearing these bright red hats. Why you ask... very good question. After looking on their website, here is what I found out:


"The Red Hat Society began as a result of a few women deciding to greet middle age with verve, humor and elan. We believe silliness is the comedy relief of life, and since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together. Underneath the frivolity, we share a bond of affection, forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next."


Although some of you might think that the red hat ladies are silly looking, or even "not cool" for wearing these attention getting hats...... I think they are on to something. I think I need to start some sort of organization where men can get together and live life to the fullest! But what?

I know. I will start the Red Ski Mask Society for Men over 25. We will get together and just have fun and not take life seriously. We can go to the bar, go bowling, golf and much much more. We could just even run simple errands together. If brother Bob needed to go to the grocery store we would go. If he needed to go to the bank our group of Red Ski Mask guys would go.

(Written December 16th, 2006)
So, we had our first get together yesterday. It didn't go so well. Brother Hernando needed some gas, so we all went to the local Git and Go. While he was pumping some gas the group of us wearing our ski masks decided to go inside and get some slushies. As soon as we walked in everybody starting screaming. I thought they were just excited that we formed a new club. But then an alarm went off and the teenage boy behind the counter pulled out a shotgun.

(Written Today)
After spending a little over a month in prison, I decided that the Red Ski Mask Society would not work out. For some reason the local police just wouldn't believe our story. But having a month to just think about things I think we would be better off just sticking with our weekly poker games to have fun as men. Hind Sight is 20/20!

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The Writing on the Wall

What is the fascination with writing on bathroom walls? Is there something about urinating that triggers a thought in the brain, "I must write something profound on the wall." I say "profound" in a very sarcastic manner. But if you ever need to find a good time, I am sure you can find a phone number to call in a bathroom stall.

Then I think to myself...... Why do I always read this garbage on the wall?

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I Saw the Sign

I was driving to work this morning, spacing out as always and then I saw the sign. I will certainly think twice the next time I try and get away with something, because God is always watching me. (Thanks, Eric)

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The Office Christmas Party

Every year around this time, offices around the country begin to have their holiday Christmas parties. The parties give us a chance to let our hair down and have a few drinks with our co-workers. Of course this year my office is doing nothing. PLUS.... We don't get a bonus. So whoever said County Government employees have it easy... Think twice.

But thanks to my wife this year and her work I get a free steak and lobster dinner, PLUS.....Free Drinks and she gets a bonus! YES!.

So for all of you attending office parties this year, here are the Top Ten Signs You're at a Bad Office Christmas Party (according to David Letterman)

10. Eggnog smells suspiciously like Liquid Paper.
9. Anyone caught under mistletoe gets choked by Latrell Sprewell.
8. Because of "corporate downsizing," Santa is only 120 pounds.
7. Only food available is something called "reindeer kebabs."
6. Last time you saw this much sucking up was on the Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson videotape.
5. Christmas tree is just a fat intern in a green sweater.
4. For the 16th year in a row, the Canadian band leader has passed out in the eggnog.
3. Thanks to the alcohol-free punch, not a single butt gets photocopied.
2. Boss offers to give you a raise, and he's not talking about money.
1. It's held every year on July 23rd.

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Kentucky Fried Chicken

There has been something that has been bugging me lately. Why does Kentucky Fried Chicken have the thinnest napkin imaginable. I mean their chicken has to be one of the top five greasiest foods in the world. So, you would think that they would provide a nice thick, soft napkin to soak up the grease off my hands and face. Is the Colonel that cheap or what?
I was at my local KFC last week and I held up my napkin to the light and I could see right through it. Wow.....That's quality. I went through 6 napkins just to keep the grease off my fingers. This is fine when you are inside the KFC eating, but forget eating it in your car. You will definately be wiping your hands on your socks to dry that grease up!

Oh yeah, by the way..... Here is an old KFC joke from my childhood (a little gross). Why doesn't KFC keep toilet paper in their bathrooms? Because it's finger licking good.

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Mental Mirror

Sometimes I can look in the mirror and think that I am the hottest guy on the planet. Other times I can’t stand the look of my ugly, Shrek like face. It is amazing how our mood and self-esteem can change the way we think about ourselves. Have you ever heard the expression “mind over matter”? This is so true of our lives as humans.
With the recent craze of plastic surgery in our society, it makes me wonder what I would change about myself. Other than the obvious, butt implants, I think I like the cards that I was dealt in the looks department. Would you change anything about yourself? Would it take the scalpel of a doctor or can a change in the way you think about yourself do the trick? My thoughts…..Positive thinking is free.

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Friday's - Did you know?

Here is a Friday dose of Did you know?

-TIP is the acronym for "To Insure Promptness.
-On average, you breathe 23,000 times a day.
-A person can live without food for about a month, but only about a week without water.
-Men loose about 40 hairs a day. Women loose about 70 hairs a day.
-About 27% of food in developed countries are wasted each year. It's simply thrown away

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The Moving Stairs

Sometimes right before I get on an escalator I get a little nervous. I am always paranoid that my footing will be off and I will fall flat on my face. In my 28 years on this Earth has it happened? No. Which only means the odds are against me.

Why do they need that emergency stop button? I remember being told of horror stories when I was little about somebody's clothes getting caught in the moving stairs and them being sucked under and killed. That can't be true...Can it? Take a look at his article.

So maybe my paranoia is a good thing. One thing I know for certain.... I will always tie my shoe laces before getting on an escalator!

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The Colgate Curse

If you are like me, you brush your teeth two times a day or maybe even more. The "Colgate Curse" applies to the morning brush. This is the brush before you are exposed to the world, and nobody wants to introduce Mr. Morningbreath to everyone. Keep in mind, this may only happen to me, so I need your feedback......
So there I am, finishing up brushing, spitting out that last mouthful of water and then wiping off my face of any excess toothpaste. I look in the mirror and I think to myself, "There is one good-looking guy, with some minty fresh breath to say the least". But, I have made a fatal error... I have forgotten about......"THE COLGATE CURSE". It usually doesn't hit you until an hour later. You are sitting at work and notice a white paste on your pants.

What is that? That has to be toothpaste. Right?! What was I doing last in these pants? Hmmm.. Then you try to take some water and rub out the white stain.... IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE. Now the stain has spread out even more. What will others think? AHHHHH, "The Colgate Curse" has gotten me again!

Did I make you look at your pants for that white stain?

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Long Lost Twin

I was signing into my Paypal account today and this credit card ad popped up. It was like looking in a mirror! I think I have found my long lost twin. Of course my wife saw the picture and thought I was crazy. What do you think?

In other news, I finally found Brogan's Irish Cream. Let me explain... Four years ago I went on a Cruise and instead the usual Baileys Irish Creme... they had Brogan's Irish Cream. Which of course I want a few bottles because of the Brogan name. So I was surfing the net last week and I finally found an online store out of New York that sells this Irish treat! You should order some, it makes a great night cap with coffee. Click Here to order your bottle today.

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A Great Week!

This past week was my wedding and honeymoon. The wedding went smoothly and I was able to showcase a few of my dancing skills. For the honeymoon we went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. What a relaxing time. Here are a few pics of the wedding day and honeymoon. Two more days of vacation, then I am back to reality.

The weather was a perfect 90 degrees and sunny all week!
This was the view from our room. It was a pretty nice place. The name of the place was the RIU Palace and it is an all inclusive resort. Which means all the food and booze are taken care of. I had enough Corona to last me for a couple of years! :)

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Some Bling for your Belly

Much like champagne, Goldschlager has a reputation as a celebration drink. It is touted by style consultants for its ability to increase one's inner bling. Goldschlager actually has little flakes of gold floating around in it. For those of you who don’t know, Goldschlager is hard liquor that has a cinnamon taste.
So one night my friend and I were drinking some Goldschlager with some Bailey’s Irish Crème (Oatmeal Cookie). After a few drinks I noticed that both full bottles were gone. This is when things started to get interesting. My friend began to feel sick to her stomach. She stumbled and fell to the ground. She then proceeded to vomit all over the wall. By this time I was feeling a little gross myself and went to bed. The next morning I woke up and noticed that something shiny was on the wall. The gold flakes had stayed stuck on the wall where the vomit was. Wow. I now had a gold wall. It just goes to show, drinking does pay off sometimes!

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A Must for Downloading

This is a great new tool for your computer that I just found out about. It is a free version of Office that is pretty much identical to Microsoft's version. You can open up any excel or word file in the Staroffice version. I have played around with it awhile and like it alot! So save yourself some money and stick it to Microsoft. Lord knows they have enough money! www.openoffice.org

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Cat Safari

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Second Edition

A new second edition of The Brogan Book has been released. A few new things have been added to enhance the first release and make it even better (hard to believe). It's the same as a DVD coming out with a limited, special deluxe edition. It will make you laugh, cry and really has something for the whole family. Pick up your copy today! Click Here to Buy

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Weight Loss Plan

I have a question to pose. On television ads featuring weight loss plans, why do the before and after picture look so different? I understand that the person should look a lot slimmer. But what about the other changes? I mean, does a tanning package and a bottle of hair dye come with the "wonder" fat-burning pills? Take some time and look the next time you see one of these commercials. In the before picture: A tired looking, pale, dark haired fat woman wearing sweats and a t-shirt. In the after picture: A tan, skinny, blond haired woman in a swimsuit. Come on!
At least make it look realistic.
That is an easy lawsuit waiting to happen. I am going to take the pills and when I don't get tan and end up on a beach somewhere, with blond highlights, I am going to cry "False Advertising". Then I will win my lawsuit, eat steak all the time and get fat. But, the ironic thing is, there will be no fat burning pills to take, because I will have forced the company out of business with my lawsuit.

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Second to None

I came up with a brilliant idea this past weekend. For some reason I kept hearing the phrase "Second to None", on the radio and on television commercials. For some reason all these companies think that they are the best. This got me thinking......
Somebody should start a business named "None". Think about it, it is a marketing gold mine. Everytime an ad says that they are "Second to None", they are actually admitting that your company, "None", is the best. You are #1. They are second to only you.
I am a genius. Pure and simple. :)

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Thank You Target

One of the most valuable things I get from Target each week isn't the groceries I buy, but the plastic bags they come in. This is true of plastic bags from any grocery store. I prefer Target bags because they are a little heavier quality, but that is neither here nor there. The point is..... You can use them for just about anything. Here is just a short list of the wonders of the Target plastic bag. The main thing I use them for is my daily lunch sack. They are perfect. Each day you see the work fridge lined with different grocery store bags. They are so much cooler than paper bags! Okay, here are some other ways to recycle your plastic bags:
1. Use them for cleaning the litter box
2. Use them as a trash can liner in a small garbage can
3. Make a new outfit with them (see picture)
4. Use them to put your old soda cans in
5. They make perfect cat toys (my kitten can't get enough)
6. Use them for taking clothes to the good will
7. Do you have a new pair of shoes and it is raining...No problem, use the sacks to put over your shoes to protect them.
8. If you are a professional hitman, you can use them to suffocate your victims
9. They make a perfect parachute for hamsters!
10. Use them to take clothes to the laundry mat
11. And last but now least...... They are great to vomit in.

Thanks Target! We should be paying for these sacks. :)

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Goodbye Independent Tom

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On the Drive

Today was just like any other day while driving to work. I was listening to some tunes, spacing off and trying not to be blinded by the sun. Then, I saw something. It was car transporter. But, this one was empty. The wheel tracks leading up to the back of the truck didn't look that far from the ground. It looked as if I could just drive my Ion right up it. I starting thinking to myself.... I should try it. Why should I do the same boring thing everyday? TODAY, I AM GOING TO GET CRAZY!!

So I floored my little 4-cylinder Saturn Ion (I felt like Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder). I was determined to get onto the back of the car transporter. My wheels met with the back of the truck, a horrible metal on metal screaching sound pierced my ears. I lost control of the car and did a 360 onto the otherside of the interstate. Wow. I guess the little Ion couldn't handle it. But at least I gave it a shot. :) I can't wait to explain this one to the insurance guy.

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Captain Obvious Award Winner

Have you seen these signs while driving around town? Do they really need to be posted? This easily gets the "Thanks, Captain Obvious" Award for the year. Shouldn't we just know that you love your kids? Do you really need a sign stating the fact? Will this sign stop someone from driving fast?.........NO! You think some road rage driver doing 65mph in your neighborhood is going to see the sign and think to themselves, "Wow, I should slow down, these people love their kids. I will wait until I get to the next neighborhood without a sign, where they hate their kids, to speed up and finish my beer."

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An Unfortunate Event

This is what I walked into today at work. My cube being filled with the black and yellow of the Hawkeyes(Oh yes, they even changed my computer desktop display to little Hawkeyes)....... Not exactly a nice way to start the day. On the eve of the year's biggest football game in Iowa, this is how my co-workers decided to spend their time. Of course if you didn't know, I am a huge Cyclone fan. So I have to give them some props for pulling this off. But, paybacks are always 10 times worse. Maybe I will just let the final score on Saturday be the payback. Official prediction: ISU 24 - Iowa 17. GO CLONES!

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Invincible

Last night I went and saw the football movie "Invincible". The story is based on the life of Vince Papale, a bartender who gets the chance of a lifetime. A chance to play for his favorite team, the Philadelphia Eagles. The preview for the movie said "If you don't stand up and cheer at this movie, you don't have a pulse." Well, I guess that there is 120 people in West Des Moines who are dead, including me. It was a good movie, but isn't up there with other classic movies such as "Rudy" and "Remember the Titans". Although, I would recommend seeing this movie because it is a great inspirational movie.
Movie going tip - If you go and see movies at the Century Jordan Creek in West Des Moines, check out this website. Each week you can sign up to receive a free concession coupon. With the high prices of food there, this saves you $3-$4 everytime you go.

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Wet Plastic = Anger

I don't ask for too many things in my life. But for once, I would like to open up my dishwasher and see a new sight. All I want is to have my tupperware and other plastic items be dry! Everytime, it's the same old thing. I pick up the piece of tupperware and water dribbles all over. Either that or there is a big puddle on top of my favorite plastic Iowa State mug. What I don't understand is...... It has an option for "Heated Dry". Shouldn't this take care of the problem? I know this isn't an isolated event. I have used over 10 dishwashers, all with the same effect.

If someone knows of a dishwasher, that guarantees to dry tupperware please let me know! I am willing to pay large sums of money and maybe even my first born child. Just help me get a piece of dry tupperware!!!

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Girl You Know It's True

Girl, you know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love you.
Yes, you know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love you.
Girl, you know it's true.
My love is for you.
Girl, you know it's true.
My love is for you.


For some reason today, Milli Vanilli songs started popping up in my head. THEY WON'T GO AWAY! For those of you younger then me, Milli Vanilli was one of the most popular groups when I was in 6th grade (Just a few years ago). I even remember going to see them perform at Vets Auditorium. I was such a dork. Anyways, all my dreams were shattered when I found out that they had been lip synching and a big scandal ensued. But now that I look back on it, the music was still good. So what if Rob and Fab didn't sing. I need to go break out my old Milli Vanilli tapes. Maybe they could make a comeback! Email your local radio station now and let them know....YOU WANT TO HEAR MILLI VANILLI!..........Hmmmmm..... I think I might be going crazy. I guess I will just "Blame it on the Rain".

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Comedy at it's best.

If you haven't watched the Office (New NBC - US Version), do yourself a favor and catch an episode or two. Anyone who works in the typical office with cubicles, a water cooler and strange co-workers can relate. It cracks me up everytime. Season 1 is available on DVD and Season 2 is coming out this month.

If you are looking for a movie version that is similar, then check out Office Space. This movie will make you feel better about your job. :)

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Are you ready for some football?

The time is finally here. Football season is upon us. Break out the little smokies and face paint. The Cyclones open the season tonight at 7pm. Is this the season when Iowa St can climb over the mountain and win the Big 12 North? Tonight's 1st game against Toledo could turn out to be a hard test for the Clones, who have an untested defense. My prediction.....ISU 38 - Toledo 27. Bret Meyer and Todd Blythe (dynamic duo), will carry the Clones to victory!

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28 and Counting

Well, I am officially 28 years old, as announced by DM Juice. There is a little blurb in there about me this week. Click here to see it.

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Busy as a Bee

I figured that I had better give some kind of excuse for not writing for so long. Well I have been busy. The Wedding plans are in full swing and the days of freedom are almost over. But I tell you this...... Having a wedding is way too expensive!! We are trying to keep it small, but you know that couldn't happen. At least the honeymoon is paid for! (Cabo San Lucas - Five Star All Inclusive Resort)

Let's see, what other excuses do I have up my sleeve? Oh yeah.... The Honey Do List. I just bought a new townhome four months ago. I figured if I bought a new townhouse there wouldn't be much to fix up. I was wrong. My girl-spouse has decided that we need to upgrade everything. Oh well, at least I got my 42" plasma I wanted.

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The Brogan Code

It's official......... "Brogan" is the top selling book by an Iowan named Thomas Brogan that was published in the month of March. What an honor! Don't forget to get your copy today. www.broganbook.com

It's also official..... I am addicted to the food network. I can't get enough of it! Iron Chef America is my favorite, followed closely by any food challenge. I have even started trying to cook a lot of the recipes I see. Why have I turned to the Food Network?
Besides the fact that it is good t.v. and I love to eat, I think it is because regular television has become crap. The only shows on any more are reality shows, cheesy sitcoms that I don't find funny or shows that see how much they can push the limit of sexually explicit material. I don't want anything to do with this stuff.

I miss the days of new episodes of Seinfeld, Friends and Cheers. Back when television was actually funny!! What do you think?

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NKNC ATTITUDE

Only 145 days left until "Independant Thomas" is gone. Then the Wedding will be here. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to take my vows with the woman I love. But lately I have seen some changes taking place in me. The one that worries me the most is my NKNC attitude. NKNC stands for "Not Knowing, Not Caring". This is my whole strategy towards my appearance.
I used to be considered borderline "Pretty Boy". I always had to have my hair looking perfect, had to be clean shaven and even had some Banana Republic outfits. Now I dress for Thunderdome. I just don't care. I don't know if it because I don't have to impress the ladies anymore or what. I will now go out in public without gel in my hair! I throw on whatever is the most comfortable to run to the supermarket. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I never shave on the weekend. By the time Sunday comes I resemble Big Foot.
I wonder if this is part of becoming older or just the beginning of married life as I know it? I guess as long as don't ever get matching jogging suits. That is where I must draw a line!

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Uncomfortable Return

Well, I did it again this morning. I seem to fall into the same trap on a daily basis. A trap set by my self. I opened the door to my car this morning to head for work. Of course I was only half awake (like a zombie pretty much). I slowly put the key in and started the Ion up. Then............... BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No it wasn't a car bomb planted by a member of the Corleone family, it was my radio turned up to a point where it felt like my ears were going to bleed. What was I thinking when I pulled my car into the garage the night before?
Isn't it strange that the music didn't seem so loud the night before, but now it just made me insane in the membrane. Another one of life's mysteries. I guess I could just get in the habit of turning off the radio when I leave the car..... But that would be too easy. :)

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The Drinking Fountain Incident

I did it. I never thought I would, but it happened. I tried to be strong, I tried to hold out........ But I couldn't! I am ashamed of myself. I cheated on my girl spouse...... with a drinking fountain.

I have no excuses..... Yes I was thirsty..... Yes I had a sore throat. But still I should have just walked away. It was so shiny and polished. It was calling out to me! I couldn't control myself. I made my move..... I slowly and gently pushed the button on the fountain. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach in anticipation for the water. As the water begin to flow I noticed something was wrong. The water was only coming out of the spout a few centimeters. I tried to push the button harder, hoping to get some more water to flow out.... Nothing happened. What was I suppose to do? I had gone this far already. But, I didn't want to put my mouth where thousands of other germ harvesting mouths had been. I was in too deep. I couldn't stop myself. I lowered my head and took the dive....... Then it hit me. I just made out with a water fountain!

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Brogan, The Book

The book is available for purchase a week ahead of schedule. Buy your copy today! Only $8.95

Book Description:
Brogan takes a step back and looks at life in a very different way. It is a collection of blogs from "Brogan's Blog", along with many other thoughts, idea, rants and observations. From eating cereal when you wake up, to trying to fall asleep at night, Brogan will give you a whole new way of thinking about life. A great new book by Iowa author Thomas Brogan.

For more info go to www.broganbook.com

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Engagement Conspiracy?

The more and more I think about engagement and marriage the more and more I think men are getting the raw end of the deal. Why is it that men have to spend thousands of dollars on a ring to propose with? In a way, this is like purchasing a wife. It sounds bad, but you can't really propose without a ring. So until you save up money to buy the ring....you have no wife. Do you see what I am saying?
In today's society where women and men are suppose to be equal in all things....why not the engagement? Here is my idea. LET THIS BE WRITTEN: From now on, if a woman wants to marry a man, they have to present them with a plasma T.V. It seems like a fair trade. A plasma costs about the same as a ring, sometimes cheaper. This way both the bride and the groom enter into the marriage equally. What do you think?

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You've really got a MOLD on me.

Yesterday I made myself a nice BLT sandwich (Crisp bacon, crunchy lettuce and garden fresh tomatoes). It tasted great! Today I grabbed the bread from the bread box and what did I see?............ MOLD!!!! Could this mold have been there yesterday when I ate the BLT? Did it just grow overnight? I suddenly started to feel sick to my stomach. The BLT sandwich tasted good enough. Wouldn’t I have noticed if there was mold on the bread?
Isn’t it amazing how our minds work against us? I don’t know for sure if I ate mold or not, but just the thought of it made me want to throw up in my mouth. Have you ever seen something after that the fact with food? Maybe you noticed that the milk was out of date after you drink it. How did you react??

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It feels like I am taking Crazy Pills!

Is anyone else sick of these stupid Mediacom Commercials? 
Do you know the ones that I am talking about.  They are set in a comedy
club and it has some local comedian doing a bit about how DSL is so much slower
than a cable modem.  It seems like they are on every channel, at all hours
of the day!......Do I agree with the commercials?  Heck Yes!  A cable
modem does seem to work faster.  Do I want to hear about it?  NO. 
Really the more and more I think about it and see these annoying commercials, it
makes me not want to use Mediacom.  Because every time I pay my cable bill,
it means that Mediacom can afford to air more commercials.  What do you
think??

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Movie Time Fear

Have you ever been to a movie where you are the only person there? This happens a lot of times when you go to a movie in the afternoon during the week. It is like having your own private screening room. You can put your feet up and relax, not have to worry about anybody talking….. and then……at the last second, somebody else walks into the theater. All is lost!
I don’t mind as much if the person sits in front of me. Then at least I can see what they are up to. If they sit behind me then I am just plain paranoid. I always have this fear that they are going to come up from behind me and slit my throat. I guess I have seen too many scary movies. It could be a 98 year old grandma and in my mind I would be thinking of Norman Bates (Psycho) dressing up like his old mom killing people!

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Gong Fu

I am a huge tea fan. So the other day when I was down in the East Village and saw a tea place, I had to check it out. Besides the name of the establishment was Gong Fu Tea (Anything that sounds like Kung Fu has to be good, right?). Gong Fu has many great tea flavors to choose from and also offers a small selection of cookies and sweet breads. Definitely take a trip and check out this great store! They are located at 414 East 6th St in Des Moines.
http://www.gongfu-tea.com/

The History of Tea: The story of tea began in ancient China over 5,000 years ago. According to legend, Shen Nung, an early emperor was a skilled ruler, creative scientist and patron of the arts. His far-sighted edicts required, among other things, that all drinking water be boiled as a hygienic precaution. One summer day while visiting a distant region of his realm, he and the court stopped to rest. In accordance with his ruling, the servants began to boil water for the court to drink. Dried leaves from the near by bush fell into the boiling water, and a brown liquid was infused into the water. As a scientist, the Emperor was interested in the new liquid, drank some, and found it very refreshing. And so, according to legend, tea was created.

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Lazy Tom

The building I work at downtown is connected to the skywalk system. As you walk into the connecting skywalk bridge to our building you are greeted by a set of glass closed doors. You can either open them manually or use the automatic button that is meant to be for handicapped individuals. I hate to admit this but I always push the button instead of actually taking an extra second and opening the door myself. I am not the only person who is guilty of this. I have taken the time to notice lately and pretty much 4 out of 5 people will push the automatic button. Are we all just that lazy? Maybe it is okay to use these buttons even though I am capable of using my arms and legs?............
As I was thinking about this situation, the truth hit me like a brick in the face. I was walking up to the door and noticed a person in a wheelchair coming towards me from the opposite direction. Instead of pushing the button like normal, I opened the door myself because I felt guilty to be using the automatic button with a handicapped person watching me. Wow! I felt like a superficial idiot. I only opened the door because someone was watching. It shouldn't really matter how I act when someone is watching, it should be how I act when nobody is watching. That is the true person. Needless to say, now I open the door myself with the arms and hands that I have been blessed with.

Check out this link for some great Des Moines Coupons:

ValPak Coupons

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Rear View Mirror

I have noticed lately when I have been driving many stupid things hanging from rear view mirrors. I know people have been doing this for years, such as the fuzzy dice back in the 60’s, but there are 3 of the current day versions that I really think are dumb.

1. The Mardi Gras Beads – These are just plain annoying. No this isn’t New Orleans (Even though we both have had floods), we don’t have women lining up on Grand Avenue flashing for beads…….So why do we have to put the beads on the rear view mirror? Another thing that strikes me as odd is a lot of the people driving these cars are old. I am hoping that one of their kids got the beads because that makes for a bad visual.
2. The Handcuffs – Does this mean that you are a hardened criminal? Or is this to imply some kind of bedside manner. Whatever the case, it makes you look like white trash.
3. The Visor (Hat) – I don’t know why this really bugs me………It just doesn’t make since. Why put a visor around your rear view mirror? If anyone has an answer to this let me know. Does this help block the sun out when you are driving??

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Peanuts

I was eating dinner the other night at Texas Roadhouse with a couple of friends of mine. At each table there is a bucket of peanuts to nibble on. One of my friends asked me, how are peanuts grown..... and you know what, I didn't know. After doing some research later that night this is what I found (just in case you are as clueless as I am).

Many people are surprised to learn that peanuts do not grow on trees like pecans or walnuts. Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. The peanut plant is unusual because it flowers above ground but the peanut grows below ground. Planted in the early spring, the peanut grows best in calcium rich sandy soil. For a good crop, 120 to 140 frost free days are required. Farmers harvest the peanuts in the fall. The peanuts are pulled from the ground by special machinery and turned over to dry in the fields for several days. The combine machines then separate the peanuts from the vines and blow the tender moist peanuts into special hoppers. They are dumped into a drying wagon and cured by forcing warm air through the wagons. Afterwards, the peanuts are taken to buying stations where they are inspected and graded for sale.

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Cleaning Up Christmas

Now that Christmas is over, it is time to start cleaning up. My least favorite part of the cleanup is taking down the tree. We use an artificial tree in our house, which makes the clean up a pain in the neck. Why don't they make the boxes that the tree comes in a little bigger? Why must it be jammed packed into the box in the first place? I know that this saves space, but come on! Every year when the time comes we have to try and shove the tree back into the box. This usually consists of having someone sit on the box while I try and wrap duct tape around it (looks like a weird game of twister, branches are poking through the corners and ripping the box up. Maybe I am the only one that has problems like this?............

Oh well, at least it only happens once a year. Maybe next year I will celebrate Festivus and just have a metal pole instead of a tree!

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